The Omen(s) (Or, how I learned to find the Devil's son)

This last weekend was probably my most exciting weekend yet.
(totally beats my return to Oxford after 6 years)
Instead of going out in the evenings to experience the vivid night life the London may or may not have to offer, Morgan and I stayed in... and watched The Omen trilogy on Film4.
That's right folks, every night at 11pm we plopped down on the couch (though often we were already there) and watched the epic trilogy consisting of: The Omen on Friday, Damien: Omen II on Saturday, and The Final Conflict (Omen III) on Sunday.
I took notes... so let's compare!!!!!!

Let's start with Damien himself.
The Omen which has the all time classic creepy tiny evil child of our nightmares

This Damien is a classic, and of course a career killer for this actor, but what do we care right?? All we need that tiny devil child for is to be a tiny devil child. Point for the Omen.

Next we have Damien: The Omen II, the movie where Damien is getting a bit older, realizing he's not normal, and being a stupid little shit.

This Damien sucks. He's not scary. He's not all that evil. He's got a British accent, but it sucks. He doesn't even really kill half the people that die, which would be fine, since first Damien really kill no one, but this Damien does kill some of the people so... what up with that? No points.

Lastly we have The Final Conflict, where Damien is in his 30s, sly, (sexy), evil, and lovely. Of course his lovelyness is all due to the fact that he's played by one of my favorite random actors, Mr. Sam Neill.

I personally was quite pleased with this Damien, you knew he was evil from the start, but you still didn't totally hate him. He knows not to ooze evil, to not always look mean. Pretty much, he's what you want your grown up Sam Neill Damien to be. Point for The Final Conflict.

Next we have the hell beasts. As most good movie goers know, The Omen has the wonderful scary hell hounds. But much to our surprise, Damien: Omen II decided to stray from hell hounds and choose... hell birds?? (aka ravens). Thankfully, The Final Conflict brought the hell hounds back. So points for I and III.

Parts I and III also gets points for having nice, clear plots. Stupid part II had the most confusing, pointless, weird and stupid plot ever. In fact, the plot was so awful, I am going to take a point away from part II (despite it having no points)

Now, how about the deaths?
The Omen has some scary, dramatic, classic deaths. Nothing beats them.
Damien: Omen II has the stupidest deaths ever. First off, the first deaths are two people getting trapped in some ruins. And the second death is a heart attack caused by a raven... and all the death you know will happen because pretty much as soon as someone knows for sure that Damien is the Devil's son they die. Lame.
The Final Conflict has some pretty good deaths. The first death is an epic suspenseful hell hound caused public suicide (hey... what's that remind us of?). And really all the deaths are pretty good, well done, and not too easily figured out.
Points for this: The Final Conflict - 1 Damien: Omen II - 0 and just because the deaths in The Omen are so classic, it gets 6 points (one for each death)

Speaking of the number of deaths in The Omen, let's get to our last section for points, DEATH COUNTS!
The Omen - 6
This is a good number for a horror movie, they are spaced out enough that you don't know when they'll come next, but you also are never waiting too long for the next one.
Damien: The Omen II - 11
As to be expected, the sequel has more deaths than the original. And all of them pretty much suck. I mean, sure, the elevator death is not exactly what you think it'll be, and the train death is awful is a good way, but they still suck. If you're horror movie has a raven causing a heart attack in someone by looking at them, you know the deaths are stupid. Also, the first three deaths were less than 20 minutes into the movie, and 6 people had died 40 minutes in...
The Final Confilct - 29
Now, this needs to be defended. First off, it's not as bad as it seems because still, only 2 people had died 40 minutes in. It took over an hour for the count to reach five, and three of those died in one scene. The main two reasons the death count is so high is because 1. There were 7 priests after Damien, and of course they all had to die and 2. 17 babies died in the span of less than 2 minutes... (they were tasteful and never showed the babies dying). And of course (spoiler) one of those deaths is Damien. And in total 18 babies die, the final baby being the 2nd coming of baby Jesus, named Harvy Jr., who was ironed to death.
So you know... think "Hey, Jesus, come 'ere, I got some iron'ng to do!"
Points: The Omen - 1 for having the lowest and most tasteful death count. Damien: Omen II - 0 for having too many stupid deaths. The Final Conflict - 2 for having the highest death count but also having good deaths and good reasons for the high death count. But then we do have to take away a point for all the dead babies.

Final Scores:
Loser - Damien: The Omen II with -1 points
Runner-up - The Final Conflict with 5 points
Winner - The Omen with 10 points!!

Now, since I took notes for this blog post, I do have a few extra tidbits to share with you (most coming from The Final Conflict, as that's what was on last night)
(buttsex)

First, an honerable mention to Damien: The Omen II for being the one in the trilogy to mention Bugenhagen the most (though of course all three mention him)

I also feel it's important to mention that in part III Damien totally has a Hamlet-esque monologue to a backward Jesus about how he will beat Jesus.

You also have to know that Jesus totally shows up in the end, once EVERYONE IS DEAD.

Keep in mind that Damien was born of a jackal so, as Morgan said, "His mother was a real bitch."

Lastly people, remember, the Devil's son is marked by the Sign of the Beast, aka a 666 birth mark on the scalp.
"That's why you have to pull guys hair during sex... Oh, Devil's son, penis out." (from an anonymous source)