Like a light bulb, in a dark room... that will never ever get turned on.

Today marks the last week of classes before fall break here at the Ithaca College London Center which means that on Thursday Morgan and I will be off to Amsterdam.
Today also marks only 10 days left until my 21st, and golden, birthday.
Today also marks that I have even fewer days left now to finish (and in some cases start) my final 3 midterm papers (as one was just handed over less than 20 minutes ago to Mr. Bevan Jones himself. And might I note that despite the fact that over half his class today was spent watching various videos, I didn't even feel a hint of sleepiness!!).

So, knowing that I have less than 3 days to write 6000 words on Shakespeare, Irish women and British television there really is only one thing that I can write about.

And that, my friends, is useless light switches.

Ever since I was a small child I was haunted and tormented by useless light switches. My most vivid memory (probably because the light switch is still lurking around my house) is of the horrifying light switch in my brother's tiny little blue bedroom.
Why, you find yourself asking, is this light switch so horrifying?
I will tell you why. It is because this light switch does... nothing!
That's right folks, you read correct, it is a light switch with absolutely no point whatsoever!!!
Therefore, whenever I enter that room, I see that white light switch watching me from the side of the door, just teasing me, daring me to switch it, saying "Hey, you don't know, maybe today will be different."
But you know what? IT IS NEVER DIFFERENT

Moving on...

There is a light switch by Morgan's bed. This switch is next to the 2nd bathroom door that is not in use due to Morgan's bed being firmly pressed against it. When we discovered this light switch we first thought maybe it affected our light.
It did not.
Then we realized that was a stupid idea because, of course, it was made to turn on the bathroom light as the other switch was outside the bathroom in the living room. It made perfect sense.
But guess what??
IT DIDN'T DO A THING! NOTHING AT ALL!
Pointless!

And then... we have out kitchen.
Oh god, that fucking kitchen, that awful, horrible kitchen.
There are more pointless switches in that kitchen than I can even dare to count.
There are they to not turn on outlets. To not turn on under-counter lights. And to not turn on over stove lights.
WHY?!?!?! Why do you torment kitchen switches??

Just wait though, it gets worse.
You see, there are two switches on the wall when you enter the kitchen.
One turns on the light.
The other... nothing.
This was annoying, but we got used to it.
Then... an electrician came in to to install new smoke alarms and such and in that process he decided, for god knows what reason, to switch the kitchen light switches.
Now, the one that didn't do a thing, turns on the light.
And the one that turned on the light... DOES NOTHING!

I DON'T UNDERSTAD!!

Our conclusion?
Never, ever... EVER place useless light switches or change them. JUST DON'T DO IT?

Okay?

Okay. Good. We're solid.