Blogs on a Plane

Let’s talk flying.

Currently I am sitting in a two-seat row on a Delta flight to Atlanta from London with both seats to myself. That’s pretty much the only luxury of this flight. At the moment the girl behind me is doing God knows what with my seat but it keeps moving and it’s really pissing me off. And as I stare at the cheap fake blue-green leather seatback in front of me I can’t help but remember the lovely seats and personal screens on my flight to London.

But I suppose I shouldn’t complain too much, at least I’m finally going home (well, not home, Atlanta, then hopefully Seattle), and an hour earlier than expected, so that’s decent.

Still, my enjoyment of returning to the country of my birth is slightly hindered by these ridiculous flight attendants. First there was Miss Bitch who asked me what I wanted to drink and snapped at me when I asked what they had, saying “We have everything, what do you usually drink?"

Excuse me lady, but no, you do not have everything, this flight would not fit everything, so there! That may not sound that mean, but she was really mean, trust me, I felt personally hurt by her. Still, I got a Coke, cause I decided it’s too early for a beer.

Then we have the silly flight attandent who showed her age when informing us that they needed to start the movie over again because the sound wasn’t working for everything. This one said “I know for those of you who could hear the film you’ll have to watch the same part over again, but sometimes with these modern movies it’s hard to follow the plot so it’s a good thing to see it again.”

And let me tell you, this movie is not complicated, not at all. Seriously, so far… boy gets dumped, girl is in internship, boy meets girl, they sleep together and hang out multiple times, but girl is leaving in 6 weeks, girl leaves and guy says “Let’s make this work” girl says yes.
That’s about it. But sure, I suppose that’s a really complicated plot as opposed to old movies…

I am very critical of these flight attendants… maybe it’s due to the fact that I didn’t get a wink of sleep last night and instead of Santa coming to Sean’s flat for a visit, we just got more pigeons cooing at the window at all hours of the night. Stupid pigeons.
Speaking of pigeons, I always think there should be a d in that word, but there never is, what up with that?

So… the movie stopped again. No explanation this time, and we didn’t even make it to the boy meets girl part. LAME. At least I now know that we have passed Ireland and are now over the ocean, isn’t that lovely?
There is faint calypso music playing though the static of my headphones on the airplane sound system. Way to show some holiday cheer guys… Oh! Now I get to hear chirping birds.

I DON’T UNDERSTAND THIS FLIGHT!
THEY ARE GOING TO SERVE US PIZZA AS A SNACK BEFORE WE LAND! WHAT?

I give up on this flight. I mean… I know I can’t just walk off it, and I don’t want to, cause I think I’d like to have a few hours of Christmas, but I give up on my hope for a pleasant flight, that’s gone out the double (triple) plastic-paned window with the tiny round hole at the bottom.

(Oh yay… the movie’s starting ALL OVER AGAIN, wait, nope, it’s a different movie… lovely, we’ve gone from cute witty Rom-com that I wanted to see to Salt…)