Half a Day in the Life of Mia the Intern at Reveille (extreme boredom takes hold)

I am at my internship today, currently waiting for an email to inform us that we can start working on a very exciting binding job. So as I sit here I will write a stream of consciousness/random thoughts blog, let's see how this goes shall we?

1:33
There is a giant, and I really mean giant, bouquet of flowers on the other side of these colorful desk dividers. It's got roses, lilies and big ass leaves. It's for some girl's birthday from her family. I would melt if anyone, even family, sent me that.

1:39
The birthday girl with the flowers decided that from now on she's saying they are here because it one of our (us two interns) birthdays.

1:59
I'm still doing absolutely nothing, makes me really want to do something. If I thought to bring my 30 Rock script I'd totally be working on my beat sheet right now, but clearly I am not doing that. Shame on me. I have 4 more hours here, I'm really hoping I can do some binding soon. It's a boring task, but must be done and is less boring than the nothing I am doing right now. I just keep refreshing pages and sucking on the ice in the bottom of my glass cause it still tastes like root beer.

2:04
Maybe I should think about my spec script... I plan to write a Shakespeare themed episode of Community. I'm thinking Much Ado right now, have Jeff and Britta as Benedict and Beatrice, Troy and Annie as Claudio and Hero, probably Pierce as Leonato, Shirley as all other females, Chang as all the bad guys, the Dean Dogberry and other stupid silly characters in that plot, and Abed as the Prince. Of course I'm not going to stick straight to the plot of Much Ado or clearly make many of these people the characters, but I'm thinking they will take a Shakespeare mini course, but Jeff takes an archery mini course, and Britta says that she has so little faith in Jeff's archery skills that if he manages to shoot anything she will eat it, even though she's a vegetarian. And Troy decides to ask Annie to one of the Dean's crazy dances, or something. But they will be reading Much Ado in class, you know, to hint you in. That's all I have so far.


2:18
OkGo posted a code to get tickets for Lopez when they will be on it. I was bored so I did it, I may not be able to go, depending on the time, but why the hell not at least try right? It is OkGo.


2:22
The episode of Shit My Dad Says that we saw filmed aired last night...


2:23
There's a framed posted for Ugly Betty Near my desk and it's quite wrinkled, the poster for The Tudors, on the other hand, is quite nice.


2:39
I may have just bought a 30 Rock posted for $6 (as in I totally did).


2:45
Just explored the desk drawers, found PostIts, folders, a Sharpie, a self-storage keychain, and an ethernet cord.


2:47
My ice chips have turned to water, faintly root beer flavored cold water.
(now there's nothing in the glass)


2:52
Got myself some coffee and a Chewy bar (a Quaker Chewy bar at that!!), hopefully that'll help with something?


2:55
I just realized that I have been doing this, and nothing else, for almost an hour and a half. Holy hell... that job better start soon cause I cannot just sit here for 3 more hours.


2:58
I just did something semi-productive. I was asking a fellow intern that I work with on Mondays and who lives in the same apartment complex as me if she wanted to carpool, she said she can't because she goes straight to class in Santa Monica, but she forgot her computer charger here on Wednesday so I'm going to pick it up for her! Look at me, getting shit done!


3:11
I just realized that my pharmacy is extremely close to my work. Win!


3:17
I totally feel my coffee. It feel like... like I want to take a nap, but if I tried to lay down I would fly off the couch/bed/floor/whatever I could sleep on and bounce all around the room. Yay coffee!...?


3:29
Just read that there is going to be a Bones spinoff that has nothing to do with the show Bones, it's not starring anyone from the show, not in the same lab, not the same job, not even based on anything written by the woman who wrote the books Bones is based off... how is it a spinoff? Beats me


3:32
Also learned that our company is producing the upcoming CW zombie show Awakening. Good for us?


3:42
I'm extremely tempted to catch up on some shows on Hulu since my supervisor just told me to sit tight till we're contacted about the job we're waiting on. I mean, if I watch The Office it would be work related cause we produce it...


3:45
Currently I am eating an orange that I just remembered I put in my bag yesterday.


4:02
Been looking up new shows, some seem quite interesting, I love TV.


4:07
That wrinkled Ugly Betty poster really bothers me, none of the other 6 posters in this room are wrinkled.


4:22
Reading more about pilots that have been ordered, gotta say a lot sound quite good, I only hope one day some college intern is reading about a pilot of mine that some network ordered.


4:32
Just found out that ABC is doing a Charlie's Angels TV remake. Not sure how I feel about that.


4:39
Found another scripted pilot that my company is producing with Jack Black (and others) that's a big thumbs up for Reveille.


4:53
The sun is starting to set, I'm still doing nothing.


4:55
Got an email about the Lopez show, taping starts at 5pm so I doubt I'd make it out in time, especially since I have an event to go to for class that day.


4:58
The giant bouquet of flowers still looks good, the birthday day decided to leave it here over the weekend cause it's just too big to take home.


4:59
Speaking of next Thursday, I'm totally going to see Aaron Sorkin talk! Take that! Also I'm seeing all the other Oscar nominated writers!


5:07
I have resorted to playing internet games. I am pretty positive that I will be doing no more work today.


5:25
About half an hour left, I'm more than ready to go home, crashed from the coffee for sure, I think I'll end this here. Hope you enjoyed half a day in the life of Mia the intern at Reveille!

A Kind of, Sort of Travel Fairy Tale (for Julia)

Today I want to share something with you that I should have shared a while ago, but since you got one story earlier, why not get another. This piece was written as a submission to a writing competition at the ICLC. I didn't win, but that's okay, it didn't perfectly fit the requirements, but I liked it anyway. Really, instead of being a travel writing piece it became a sort of love letter to my friendship with a one Miss Julia Gibas. So here it is...

                                         A Kind of, Sort of Travel Fairy Tale

I would like to tell you a little fairy tale. And before you ask, yes, it has to do with travel, I’m not daft, in fact it has all sorts of travel (but most importantly the required type of travel for this piece). And sure… it’s not really a fairy tale… at all, cause you know, there’s no magic or fairies or princesses (well… okay no) or all the things you need for a fairy tale, but still, I’m going to tell you a fairy tale, so here we go.

Once upon a time, about 21 years ago, in a land relatively far away (that’s usually extremely cold but at the time of our story was actually kind of hot) there lived two pregnant ladies. Now, I’m not going to lie to you, these were not young ladies, but they were wonderful ladies, and they were friends and good friends at that. They didn’t stay knocked-up for too long though, about in August and October they popped out those babies, and of course they were each (baby in tow) at the other’s side. They had two beautiful, gorgeous, and just absolutely amazing baby girls that they named Julia Grace Gibas-Jones and Amelia Boadicea Lenor Fjerkenstad (yeah, try saying those ten times fast).

Twenty one years later, after countless sleepover, a ton of games, slightly less “adult beverages”, a handful of boys, and a sprinkling of death threats, theses two girls found them selves lying next to each other in a large bed in a rented apartment in Morocco. Their stomachs full of Moroccan Thanksgiving, and their brains fuzzy with a couple of shared cocktails, Julia turned to Amelia.

- Can you believe we’ve been doing this for 21 years? Having sleepovers.

And boy howdy if Julia wasn’t right. There hadn’t been a single year the girls (princesses perhaps, why not, it’s a fairy tale) hadn't a sleepover at least once. From sleeping in leaf piles at Quaker retreats, to lying sun-burnt next to each other in a tiny bed in El Salvador, to snuggling up inebriated in a damp cabin in Wisconsin, these girls had been together for a long time. That night in Morocco the princesses (yes, they’re princesses now, it’s a fairy tale, deal with it) talked until sleep forced them to stop.

That weekend, far from their Midwestern (but urban! Yes, the Midwest is hip, we made Prince for Christ sake) home, the princesses felt just as close as they’d been sleeping in that leaf pile years ago. I mean, sure, there were a few bumps in the weekend, like the fact that Amelia didn’t speak Arabic or remember a word from her four years of French and was abandoned by Julia for 5 hours and left to the mercy of a very aggressive and demanding 8 year old Moroccan girl (no, no one’s bitter about anything, I don’t know where on earth you got that idea). But then there were those magical moments when Julia worked her magic so wonderfully that she was able to drop the price of a necklace from 200durham to 30 (see, it defiantly is a fairy tale, there’s magic right there!). And the nights spent lying under Moroccan blankets, listening to Moroccan rain, and talking about love, the past and the future (then there were the mornings where the princesses were rudely awakened by the 8 year old screaming their names).

On their final day they stood in a hole in the wall of a shop in the Moroccan market streets, the walls covered with pictures of pop stars (sadly, neither of the princesses were included in that collage, and before you ask, you weren’t there either, self centered prick…) Amelia looked out to the crowded ally of a street and back at Julia dancing away to Shakira as a Moroccan man burned her a mix CD, both girls (princesses, ladies, women, chicas, whatever I give up) realized that while this was one of those defining, never to be forgotten sort of  moments in their friendship, it was also sort of the start. Who knows where they would find themselves meeting next. Maybe in China, or Los Angeles, Paris or Vancouver. Maybe under a bridge or in a secret garden, maybe in Narnia or through the looking glass (it’s a fairy tale, anything is possible). Really though, all that mattered, all that they knew for sure, was that no matter where they ended up, no matter what they ended up doing, the next 21 years would hold at least as many sleepovers as the first (and hopefully a lot less death threats).

The End … ?

Improvised Bedtime Stories (The Tale of Edmond the Rat)

I know I gave you a tantalizing, secret exposing post only two days ago, but it was short and I do wide myself wide awake at 12:37 in the morning wanting to share more with you, so... in honor of a friend who often reminded me of the importance of improvised, instantaneous story writing, I will now write a bedtime story for me, and for you, completely on the spot.


Once upon a time, in a land not quite as far away as you'd think, there live a rat named Edmond. Now, Edmond wasn't your average rat, oh no, he was very, very below average. When it came to hunting, Edmond couldn't tell a scrap of cheese from a lightbulb, you would constantly finding him chasing his own tail like a lowly house dog, and don't even get me started on sewer navigation... let's just say, if you found Edmond on the street it'd be both a rare miracle and a stupid mistake (because he'll most likely be miles from the pack). Yes, Edmond was the dud of all the rats and he knew it.

But that wasn't what bothered Edmond, what bothered him was that it seemed like no one else in the pack to noticed his flaws in the least. It wasn't even that the pack pretended his wasn't stupid, no one applauded him when he carried home bottle caps when they asked for apple cores as if he did the right thing, everyone simple nodded and went on with their work. And while Edmond heard everyone gossip about the mistakes and embarrassments of the rest of the pack, whenever he hid above the pipes to listen to the latest gossip his name never crossed a single rats snout. This broke little Edmond's heart because all Edmond had wanted, all his life, was just to be noticed.

Edmond knew he would never be a star fetcher or leader of the pack, he knew he'd never even be a supporting member of the pack, he knew this from the day he was born and sucked on his father's nose when he should have been at his mother's teet. But when his father didn't even bother to push him off or laugh at his newborn's stupidity, Edmond knew his life goal was simply to be a part of something.

One day, Edmond simply had enough. He had mindlessly wondered off in the wrong direction for 5 hours and came back with a large fake orchid only to find all the food eaten and a younger rat asleep in his nest. Edmond screeched as best as he could, which honestly sounded much more like a dove's coo than a rats screech but loud nonetheless, and what happened?

Nothing!

Edmond was enraged, outraged, totally completely and utterly full of rage. He pulled his favorite apple core bottle cap from his nest and stormed out of the sewer. Of course  for Edmond... stroming out of the sewer took him quite a while and many a wrong turn, but eventually he found his way out and stood in the middle of a quiet city alley.

Edmond sat there, in the alley, bottle cap in his mouth for what seemed like hours, until the faint glow of sunrise gleamed in the distance and Edmond heard a noise that sounded exactly like his screech come from above him. Edmond dropped the bottle cap, tilted his head up and screeched back. He then heard a flutter come down from above and saw a white bird approaching him.

The dove landed softly on the ground before Edmond. She cocked her head sideways and cooed again at him. Edmond beamed and cooed back. The dove nodded at him and pushed Edmond's bottle cap back towards him with her beak. Edmond picked the bottle cap back up when the dove fluttered up. Edmond felt his heart dropping when suddenly he felt two claws grasp his back and pick him up. He looked up to see the dove clutching him as they flew higher and higher into the sky, up towards the clouds.

Edmond spent the rest of his life living with the doves, collecting bottle caps and cooing his days away. So next time you hear a dove coo above you, don't forget to look up, because it might be a very content rat.

The End

(not bad for a story written in half an hour!)

The Secret to My Brilliance (So Interesting You'll Read it Thrice)

Disclaimer: there's a tiny, extremely slight, really really little (but also a bit likely) possibility that maybe, perchance this entry may have maybe stretched the truth the smallest bit... but it's not that likely

People often say to me, "Mia, where do you get all those fantastic, amazing, lovely and creative ideas?"
And I usually tell them... nothing. I just shrug and slyly smile.

But today, because I feel really extra nice (so you better feel really extra special) I plan to reveil the secret of my brillance.
(you lucky bastards you)

I received the secret of my TV creative amazingness this summer from a guy named Miles for $90. It was a bit painful, but totally worth it.
This secret... is my TV tattoo.
(seen here depicting a lovely beach scene)

I know it's hard to believe, how can a tattoo invoke TV brillance?
Maybe you're thinking it just aids me, I look at it and realize wonderful things I could see on a real version of it (the TV, if you find that sentence confusing). But honestly, that's not it at all.

Believe it or not (I'm guessing not, but that's your loss), but the TV shows me secret, never before (or after) seen episodes of current hit television shows. I've seen the most creative episodes of Community, extremely hilarious episodes of How I Met Your Mother, the bravest episodes of Bones, outlandish episodes of The Office, episodes of True Blood more tantalizing than you'll ever see, daring episodes of Dexter, horribly harmful episodes of House and perfect episodes of Parks and Recreation (and of course shameful episodes of The Simpsons).

Please don't call me crazy, I'm on no drugs, I have no delusions or visions, I just have a magical, wonderful and inspiring TV on my arm that gives me all my ideas.

Trust me, if you looked harder, you'd see it all too and you're life would change forever (at least as much as a really great episode of TV can change your life).

You never know what a TV will show you, no matter if it be made of glass, metal and plastic or skin and ink.

And that my friends, is my secret.   

Stupid Things - A List of Complaints Pt. 2

What to know some stupid things?

Well, whatever your answer is to that question, doesn't really matter cause I'm going to tell them to you anyway.

I think it's stupid that despite the fact that I am currently living in beautiful, consistant 70 to 80 degree weather I still managed to get the same shitty cold I get every year when I'm in 10 to 20 degree weather.

I think it's stupid that my headboard bangs against the wall every time I move in bed, and even more stupid that it looks nice there so I refuse to move it.

I think it's stupid (and equally funny) that I got wine all over my face because we wanted wine but don't have a corkscrew.

I think it's stupid that our DVD player refuses to work for anything that doesn't have Betty White in it (but at least it shows amusing taste).

I think it's stupid how often the sprinkles outside my window go on every night cause I'm pretty sure they jolt me out of my sleep.

I think it's stupid that I don't have an internship with CSI (though it's pretty awesome that the guy said he'd never met anyone as enthusiastic about TV as me).

I think it's stupid that Lifetime refuses to show their episodes of Friends and  HIMYM in order. WHY LIFETIME, WHY?!?!?!

I think it's stupid that I lost my RA booklet two days after getting it.

I think it's stupid that two out of three of my mugs arrived in LA broken (and weird that it was the Shakespeare ones that broke).

I think it's stupid that, yet again, I haven't won a Golden Globe, that stupid Hollywood Foreign Press really holds a grudge...

I think it's stupid that furniture stores have sales for MLK day, I'm pretty sure Dr. King's dream had nothing to do with saving money on a couch.

I think it's stupid that I can no longer watch QI anymore on TV.

I think it's stupid that every time I decide to make my mandarine chicken I stop part of the way through and change my mind.

I think it's stupid that I made my bed 20 minutes before getting into it.

But most of all...

I think it's stupid that I don't have a cupcake right now.

Celebrity Sightings and Stranger Questioning

The celebrity sightings have begun!!
Oh how exciting! (and no, that is not sarcasm)
Since I landed in LA I have been keeping an eye out for a familiar face (that's not from IC) that I can point to (if only just in my head) and go "Oh my god! It's so and so! How awesome!"
One of my fellow RAs, Taylor, shares this same feeling with me, we bonded over it.

My first two and a half days were a flop, no one famous, no one to care about, totally lame.
But today we went to a taping of the show Shit My Dad Says and I saw my first LA famous person (second famous person ever).
Now, I know what you're probably thinking, "Mia, of course you saw someone famous, you were at a sit-com taping so there are famous people right there" and it's true, there was William Shatner and Jonathan Sadowski and Nicole Sullivan and Will Sasso and Jean Smart (Tila Tequila was also on it, but she doesn't count), but you see, celebrity sightings don't count when there on the set of a TV show that you are seeing taped, because that means you knew you would see them, you planned on it all. That's not right.

I will tell you what a true celebrity sighting is.
A true celebrity sighting is when you see a man coming in to a TV taping audience later than most people and being sent to a reserved seat in the front row and you realize you recognize him and then you realize that you were watching him on Hulu just this morning and that he's Paul James who plays Calvin on the ABC Family show Greek, the only ABC Family show you watch. And then your friend Taylor turns to you and says "Holy shit, I think that's Calvin from Greek" and you go "Oh my god, yeah, I was totally thinking that" and then your friend Taylor gets a better view, as do you, and you both flip your shit cause it totally is Paul James aka Calvin from Greek and he's both you and Taylor's first celebrity sighting and you both love that show (Taylor a bit more than you, it's his favorite) and you know that your day has just been made.
THAT is a true celebrity sighting.
In case you don't know who Paul James is, this is him.

Now that I have sited my first celebrity in LA I say, let the games begin!!


ALSO!! On a totally different subject, I have a question for one of my readers.
I would like to know who one of you is.
Here is what I know about you.
I know that you live, or are currently in, New York City. I also know that the last time you read my blog you located it by searching in Google using the keywords "josiah fjerkenstad, blog" and I also believe that once before, over a month ago, you searched Google for my blog using the keywords "josiah fjerkenstad"
So please, if you would, let me know who you are, and why you search for my blog using my brother's first name and our shared middle name taken from our father's last name, I am extremely curious.

What I've Learned Today

I have arrived in the city of angels... also known at Los Angeles, or LA or Hollywood, whatever.
Currently I am sitting on my massive bed in my massive room eating Chinese food (it, sadly, is not massive, but is at least decently sized seeing as I haven't eaten in almost 11 hours).

But seriously, my room is huge. It's got a king sized bed, two bedside tables, giant double dresser, a walk in closet, a big ol'sink area and... a very small bathroom.
Smaller than my one back home, and trust me, that's saying something.
My bathroom is about as small as my room is massive, but it's no biggie, especially since the sink isn't jammed in there.

Now that I am all unpacked (though I need to fix this crooked mirror) let's talk about what I have learned about LA thus far.

I learned that I am living in the Hollywood Hills, go figure.
I learned that my apartment is definitely not near the airport.
I learned that the Oakwood apartments have a building for every letter of the alphabet, and that they have free brunch every Sunday!!!!!!!
I learned that I should not send coffee mugs through the mail to LA, even if they are wrapped in bubble wrap and clothes, cause two of three broke (thankfully my oldest and my favorite one didn't break, what I took from this is that you can break Shakespeare (mugs) but not Radiohead (mugs))
I learned that it's really weird to see grass, green trees and flowers in early January.
I learned that I still have shitty luck with flights (as my flight to Denver was delayed meaning I would miss my LA flight, but I worked it out).
I learned that riding down hill in golf carts freaks me the fuck out.
I learned that my room provides me with far too much storage space (6 dresser drawers, 8 sink drawers and a double-doored cabinate, a linin closet with 8 shelves, two bedside tables with one drawer each and a large walk-in closet).
I learned that I haven't learned much at all about LA yet.

And lastly I learned, thank to a little cookie, that I will be the guest of a gracious host. 04 15 26 39 42, 5

Minnesota Life (It's Cold)

Here are some things that I think are important about life in Minnesota for me.

Minnesota is cold, very cold, and it doesn't help to have a heater that doesn't work in my bedroom (but since I'm only here for a week I'm too lazy to fix that problem).

I have discovered that some of my friends are such hipsters that they are deep conversations about how hard it is to be a hipster. I still love them despite this.

It's not very easy to find LA appropriate clothing in Minnesota in January, even if I look in the world's 2nd biggest mall.

The problem with cold rooms is everything in them is cold, so even if you warm up part of your bed and blankets, once you move you discover more cold bedding and the whole thing is ruined.

Hail, as scary or annoying as it can be, actually make the ground much more grippy than ice or even some snow.

Dust is annoying to come home to.

Even my breath is cold. That is how cold my room is.

Big soft, beds totally beat hard beds filled with noisy stupid springs.

The Current plays mean jokes, the first time I turned it on while driving here Mary Lucia played Avril.

U Liquors needs to clean up the old barf/soggy popcorn from their parking lot.

Rosedale Journeys needs to restock their Nike Dunks, for reals.

Prince is no where to be found.
(not that he was before, but that's no where near the point)

Waiters at Thai places are mean, bartenders at Mexican-Chinese fusion places are awesome, waiters at Ruby Tuesdays are just right.

But seriously, I'm really cold.