The Grunter from Hell (An Insomniac's Nightmare Neighbor)

There is a man.
A man who's face I couldn't pick out from a crowd unless it was a crowd of him and a bunch of women, or maybe children.
A man who actually maybe I couldn't even pick out of a crowd of him and women, cause for all I know he could be a woman.
A man who's age I do not know, who's race I do not know, who's religion I do not know, who's job I do not know.
A man who may live in my building or may live in building A.
A man I know nothing about.
And despite all that, I hate this man. I want to slap, shake, punch and strangle this man (though I won't, because I am a Quaker). I want to scream at this man, give him some cough syrup and seal all his windows closed.

Why do I have such strong feelings about this man that I do not know?
Because he is the grunter from hell.

You see, when I get into bed at night, I open my window. I open my window because I am a weirdo insomniac who needs a freezing cold bedroom in order to sleep. And when I open my window I hear his grunt.
It's not even really a grunt, because that makes it sound possibly like something sexual and I am 99.9% sure it's not sexual. The sound he makes is almost like the sound a really crappy old motorcycle makes when it won't start, but it doesn't last as long.
I mean, clearly he's clearing his throat, but it's so loud and so awful.
And it happens ALL NIGHT LONG.
But the thing is, it doesn't happen every night.
It doesn't happen at regular intervals.
It's not even always the same volume so there's no possible way to get used to it.

I just want to know why.
Why, Mr. Grunter, have you not had that throat thing looked into?
Why, Mr. Grunter, do you not drink a bottle of cough syrup every night?
Why, Mr. Grunter, do you do you hate me and wish to ruin my life?
Why? WHY!

So, if you are out there Mr. Grunter living in either building A or B of the Oakwood apartments in LA on Barham, please, for my sake, and everyone else who has an open window near you, stop.
You make me want to cry myself to sleep at night.
But I don't.
Because that might annoy my neighbors. 

I Choose Squirrels, and You Should Too (Ithaca College's Mascot Search)

Ithaca College is in the process of getting ourselves a mascot.
I think it's a good choice, we need a mascot for the Bombers, every schools should have a mascot!

So Ithaca decided to roll out the three choices one per day this week, come tomorrow, we all vote for our favorite and see what creature will be representing the Ithaca Bombers.

Here's what we got.

A.
Phoenix

I get it, it's a mythical bird and Ithaca is a mythical name and blah blah blah blah blah blah blah. It's just so... look at us we're a cool exciting academic college with a mythical bird all full of meaning and shit. It doesn't capture the spirit of Ithaca in my opinion. We're a place full of weirdos (the good kind) and hippies and hipsters. Not... phoenixes. I vote no to the Phoenix.

B.
Flying Squirrel

Here we have Bomber the Flying Squirrel. When I first saw this I was flabbergasted. I mean, really, a flying squirrel? But it's grown on me more and more and more and now... WE HAVE TO HAVE IT! It's perfect, I think it embodies the school so well. We're a bit strange, quirky, fun. We're in the woods, there are squirrels everywhere! Plus look at him! He's got a little bomber hat and a scarf and he's gonna drop acorns all over your ass! He's adorable, but not too cute. He's just perfect. This squirrel gets my vote, no questions asked.

Last there's...

C.
The Lake Beast

This one is just... I mean, who picked this to get in? It IS the Creature from the Black Lagoon, seriously, it really is. Apparently it's because there have been sightings of this beast for over 100 years... okay Ithaca.
Want to know where they really got the idea?
They got it from me and Lyndsi Bosco.
You see, last spring break, Lyndsi and I informed the world (meaning a few friends and ourselves) of the creature that lived at the bottom of Lake Cayuga. His name is Graper and he is a giant radioactive platypus, and he does exist. I've seen him, Lyndsi's seen him, and I KNOW you've seen him.
Now, yes, this "Lake Beast" is not a platypus, but that's just because they knew we'd hunt them down if they made it too obvious that they stole Graper from us.
So, because the Lake Beast is really Graper, I don't vote yes, but... because the Lake Beast is really Graper, I don't vote no.


Let's sum this all up.
Phoenix - trying too hard, that's not Ithaca College, and that's totally not a bomber, come on! OUT
Lake Monster - actually Graper, and kind of weird, but also kind of fabulous. If it wins, that's okay.
Flying Squirrel - it's a flying squirrel. In a bomber outfit. It's a flying squirrel. Have you looked at that flying squirrel? HAVE YOU? WINNING!!!

In conclusion, my vote goes to the flying squirrel. So to all you Ithaca College students reading this, please vote for the squirrel, you know it's the best fit for Ithaca. Or vote for Graper... I mean the Lake Beast. But we don't want a Phoenix, come on, let's be better than that.


GO FLYING SQUIRREL'S!!

The King of Limbs (My Really Long Radiohead Entry Addressing All Albums Actually)

As an avid Radiohead fan I realized the other day that I probably should discuss their lastest album, The King of Limbs, so that's what I'm gonna do!
(I'll try to keep this from being too boring for non-Radiohead-ers, but no promises)

What got me thinking the most about this is that there is a satire clip from some BBC show going around the internet and Radiohead sites that shows a support group for Radiohead fans that really only like Radiohead's earlier work, mainly anything before Kid A. And I can understand how people would feel that way. Pablo Honey, The Bends and OK Computer are more rock like, you can blast those songs and sing along (and of course you can look cool and Alt when you display your OK Computer poster in your bedroom, though I don't have one despite having 3 Radiohead posters, and I don't really want one).



And I love their early work, yes. OK computer is a fantastic piece of work, it moves and excites and lingers and is different than so much music before it. Pablo Honey is... I mean it's their first album, it grows on you, but you can tell by the raw sound and clearly stated slightly angsty rock star dreaming lyrics that it was the bands first. The Bends is really when Radiohead found their footing and figured out more what they wanted to be, with somewhat dream like but also rocking and beautiful lyrics over expertly played instruments, really showcasing what they were able to do.

Of course we have to address Kid A, which is praised for the way it changed and challenged music. An album that created a world of its own inside the music, a stark dreamscape (and yes, I am annoyingly aware how much I use the word dream, and I know I'm going to use it again, it's like I can't escape it... it's like... I'M TRAPPED IN A DREAM DREAM haha, get it? No? Not good? Sorry...). For Kid A Radiohead really started to challenge themselves and their fans, trying something new and different that not only had they not done before, but most bands at the time hadn't done before either. I love Kid A, it's a fucking fantastic album (though, I would say that about all but Pablo Honey, which is good, but not fucking fantastic, but all are fucking fantastic in very different ways). My tattoo is even art from the Kid A era (though his name, Lewis, comes from the My Iron Lung EP which is from The Bends era). Also one of my three posters is from the Kid A era.

But here's the thing, while many early fans fell out once Amnesiac came out, I wasn't even a fan yet!! That's not what I meant to say though.



Amnesiac is how I fell in love with Radiohead. See, I completely credit my music taste to my brother, and I thank him greatly for that, cause had I not stolen all his CDs I might be into artists like Ke$ha and Lady Gaga and Justin Bieber (gross, I don't like pop, except for dancing). He's who got me into Nirvana in middle school (and I was obsessed, had an entire wall dedicated to articles and pictures and a few books). And my dear brother Josiah is who I stole Amnesiac from freshmen year of high school. Now I know I had listened to that album and OK Computer, I think Kid A as well, through the start of that year, but Amnesiac is the one I remember taking the most, and I know the moment I really, truly fell in love with Radiohead, and it was to Amnesiac.

Freshmen year of high school my dad took me on a week long trip to New Mexico and Amnesiac was one of the CDs I brought and dad and I put it in the rental car CD player while we drove through New Mexico and it's stark but beautiful land late at night and we just listened to it over and over again and I fell in love. The songs sometimes feel like Thom Yorke woke up in the middle of the night from a dream and just wrote the thing down, This album is haunting and lovely and beautiful and it is what started this obsession that has been going strong now for 7 years.

Now we'll quickly address Hail to the Thief. Disliked by many for its political message, why should a British band write an entire album criticizing the American president? But I still love the album, I think it has brilliantly written songs that, yes, carry a strong political view, but they are also lovely when taken out of that context and create a world full of glittering spider webs and ships sailing through the night sky. And There There (The Boney King of Nowhere) is just a fucking awesome song, I mean really, don't even try to say it's not.

Then we have In Rainbows, the fist album to come out after I fell in love with the band, so it was really the first Radiohead album of my time in a way. And man that album washed through my in the best way. Every song spoke to me, moved me in different ways, stuck in my head in all the best ways... I mean, I just loved it, and it's b-side... mmmm. And the entire discbox that I bought. And it was that album that I saw the tour of, my first (and only so far) Radiohead show, a show that was pretty much a religious experience for me. And I mean, I have the tour poster, the tour water bottle, I have the fabric art from In Rainbows, I have the cover of Rolling Stone poster that Thom was on after that album "The Future Belongs to Radiohead". In Rainbows was my shit, not by favorite, but still my shit.

And now... the real point here...

The King of Limbs.

I heard early last year that Radiohead would be releasing their 8th studio album that year and I could not wait. Seriously, it needed to happen. I mean, new Radiohead! And, AND my favorite number is 8, so the 8th thing to happen of anything has to be good for me, and the 8th album from my favorite band of all time? Yeah, it has to be great.

Then, on February 13/14 I stayed up till about 2am, and when I checked my Twitter feed I saw the best tweet ever. It was done, the album was done and it was online to be ordered and it would be out that Saturday and it was called The King of Limbs and it was new Radiohead and it was a newspaper album (what the fuck is that? I don't know, we'll find out in May) and it was new Radiohead and it was new Radiohead and IT WAS NEW FUCKING RADIOHEAD!

I wanted to dance and yell and tell everyone, but everyone was asleep, but that didn't matter.

And then, and then! It came out a day early (again, I found out through Twitter, so I will never hate on Twitter again) and I downloaded my WAV files that I paid extra for and...

I couldn't be more pleased.

Seriously, I don't care what anyone else says, I love The King of Limbs. It's complex, it's intricate, it creates wonderful, beautiful images in my mind. I mean, listen to Codex, really, do it, it'll take you to a place that you will never want to leave, a place you might even feel like you've been before, in real life and loved just as much then. And it flows, oh it flows so nicely. Who cares if it's only 8 tracks and 37 minutes long? Seriously, if it does what it needs to, if it moves you and if there feels like there's nothing that needs to go away then why add more? Plus, 8 tracks, hello, favorite number!!

I adore The King of Limbs, and I mean, it's really bringing Radiohead into the spotlight because no album of theirs has been this discussed and argued over since Kid A, so I think that alone makes it great in its own way. Sure, it's causing a rift between some fans, cause some hate it, others love it.

To anyone doubting it, I say, have you listened to it more than once? Because if not, you really need to. The King of Limbs is the sort of album that must be listened to multiple times to really sink it. For me it took four times for it to really, really hit me and move me. I mean, yeah, I loved it after the first time, but I loved it 10 times more after the 4th time (and yes, I listened to it probably 10 times the first day, I'm not ashamed to admit it).

I'm a little shocked by how much I had to say in this, but then again, I'm a big Radiohead fan, I always will be, I think my feelings on The King of Limbs proves it a bit. Had I fallen in love with an album like The Bends or OK Computer first there's a chance my feelings about this album would be quite different, but because Amnesiac was my first it established a grounds for me to like all their sounds, I love Radiohead because they aren't scared to change their sound as they want to. Also, they are great people who make wonderful music on their own as well as together, who stand for admirable things like their strong green initiative and avid awareness of politics and the goings on of the world.

I will close with this.
I love Radiohead, always will.
I love The King of Limbs, and I really think every one of you who reads this blog post should give it a listen, actually, give it at least two listens, and don't do it while you write a paper, do it when you can really listen to it, it won't take that much time, just a little over an hour, so you can do it. And please, enjoy, and let me know what you think! 

My Serious Problem

I feel I have a blessing/curse in the mornings before work. I am always, and I mean always, ready to go by 9:30, when really I don't need to leave till 9:45 to get to work on time. I started out waking up at 8:30 for work, which is at 10:00. But after awhile of realizing that with the way I work and get ready that I don't need that much time, I decided to give myself 15 more minutes. When even that proved to give me extra time I gave myself 15 more minutes. Now I've been getting up at 9:00 to shower, do my make-up, get dressed, spend some online time and make breakfast (and sometimes lunch). But no matter what, even if, like today, I start making breakfast on the stove at 9:25, I am still finished and done with everything by 9:30.
Honestly, it pisses me off.

I know I should be pleased with my speediness, especially cause I'm not even trying to go fast. I pay attention to my make-up, I don't take super quick showers, and I give myself all the time I want online in the morning, (which, given, isn't that much time, cause, you know, it's morning) and I actually make breakfast, which usually takes enough time for me to make a lunch while the food is cooking. AND STILL 9:30, all the time, every time.

Today I finished my food, cleaned up and put away my dishes and when I saw it was 9:30, I would have yelled FUCK, but Ginny was asleep and her door was open, so that would have been just rude.

I just don't understand it, I really don't. But then again... I did always arrive at my bus stop early in high school... I think I just have a problem with always being early, in fact, I'm positive I have a problem with always being early. It's actually physically hard for me to be late...

And yes, I consider it a problem.

Internships Teach You Things! (About Babies)

At my internship I am currently working on the Lifetime show One Born Every Minute.

What does this mean? This means that my Mondays and Fridays are all about babies and labor and delivery nurses...

What does this mean for this blog? This means a blog about what I've learned from working on One Born! Lucky you! It's all about the babies today!

The biggest thing I've taken from this show is that watching labor and delivery nurses for hours and hours is not good for my health. You see... our show likes to fill spaces with "nurse moments" these are cute funny little moments of the silly things the nurses of L&D say all the time... Yeah, they don't say funny stuff all the time. In fact, they do not say funny things enough. 

I have spent too many days just watching hours and hours and hours and hours of nurse footage just waiting for something good to happen. And see, they filmed 24 hours a day for weeks at a time sometimes, so there's a lot of footage and it's not even like you can just fast forward until something good happens, cause there might be something in the middle of a conversation, or some nurse might just make an amusing face or be caught on camera picking her nose.

Needless to say, this is a boring, tedious and never-ending task (though it may finally be over, knock on wood) and it has literally haunted my dreams.

I mean it, I couldn't sleep one night because whenever I closed me eyes I saw more nurse footage and kept wondering if the moments would be good for the show. 

There is one good part of the nurse moments though, and that's when you win.

And by win, I mean when I get one of my nurse moments in the show. Even better yet, sometimes, some people (people like me) find a nurse moment so good, it's used twice! WIN FOR MIA!

I have also learned that husband/fathers-to-be go fucking crazy before having a baby.

I'm not joking here, they are so weird in the delivery room. They make noises, eat obsessively, sing, say weird ass things, will not shut up, some even go out and buy strollers while their wives are in labor and bring the stroller back to the hospital... in the box. 

My guess, they are driven crazy by the lack of attention, since everyone is all about the baby mama's, with good cause.

So ladies, if you be having babies and your man be acting all crazy, ask him to get real close, then smack his crazy face!

(that's your Mia advice for the week)

I have also learned that new borns are really weird looking. They look like little alien sea monkeys, all wrinkly and discolored and covered in goop. Gross. (but also cute)

Also, I learned that if you're going into labor and need a laugh, invite your drunk friends!

So maybe I haven't learned the best things, but hey! Babies!

Late Night Thoughts (and a dancing lizard)

Late at night, sometimes, I have the strangest thoughts.

I am happy with my situation in life at the moment, being in school, having stability even if things are teetering sometimes. But then I think about the fast that in a little over a year I actually have to start life. I don't know if I can do it. I really don't. Find a job, find a home, figure out how to live, keep reaching for what I want my job to be, where I want to be, what I want to make, and at the same time trying to live the life I really want. Find someone to love, travel, get married, have kids and show them the world I want them to know. I really don't know how on earth I'm meant to get from here to there and it scares me.

I listen to a song on my iTunes that I've never listened to before, it's from 2007 and all I can think about is what my life was like in 2007. In high school, still doing theatre, infatuated with a boy, broken hearted by a boy, and all the thoughts, all the dreams that came from 2007. I was going to be a star, write the best plays, go to the best school, have my perfect man into 2008. It's all just faded dreams now.
How should I feel about that?

I see, hear, feel things that remind me of Chicago.
It feels like a lifetime ago, it feels like a year completely apart from the rest of my life. The feelings there, the look, the life, it was all something that only happened there, something I will never get again. That's not a good or a bad thing. It's just... a thing. But it's a strong thing, and the idea of going back to Chicago in any way scares me. Returning can ruin images, even if the images weren't the best.

My life in London last year was in a different London from the one I saw back in 2003. Those two places are not the same in any way, shape or form.

I haven't been in a relationship since my senior year of high school, and there was nothing normal about that relationship. I don't know how to be in a relationship. I don't know how to start one, how to find someone, I've almost always been the one found.
And do you ever think about the relationships that almost were?
Every now and then I think about them, they haunt me sometimes.
The best high school couple, the one everyone would want to be friends with.
The music loving theatre school couple.
The totally mis-matched college couple that secretly hate each other.
Where would those have taken me?

I feel weird writing a blog post like this, this isn't really my blog's feel is it?
I'm saying too much, things no one knows, but maybe it's okay.

I think too much, I never know what to do.
You want something, go get it. But we all know it's not that easy, right?
How do you get it? What do you say? What do you do when you want something so bad but just don't know how, or if, or when?

Sometimes I wish I could see things the way I saw them the first time all the time, because the first time you see something is always so different than all the other times. I don't always like that. But I also love it.

All I want to do is write something that changes people's worlds.
But that's probably too much to ask.

None if this is really a problem, nothing haunts me for too long, or scares me for more than a moment, but sometimes, like tonight, it all just runs through my mind like sidewalks after the rain.

(as I have decided to post this)
I am leaving you with a little late night story.

There once was a lanky and energetic lizard.
He liked to dance all over the rivers of the Amazon, splashing water on every creature he passed.
One day this lizard was dancing up a storm and splashed a big, wet splash of water on a giant snake hanging in the tree above the river.
The snake was not pleased with this so he lunged down and snatched the lizard up in his mouth. But before the snake could swallow, this dancing lizard pried open the snake's mouth and did one final dance on top of the snake's tongue.
The lizard then waved the river goodbye and let the snake close his mouth.

The End.
Good night.

A Valentine for My Boo

It's Valentine's Day.
What does that mean?
That means a post about Lyndsi Bosco!!
(my best friend, well, one of the three)

That's Lyndsi there, the girl I am pointing at (and that me with my helmet like haircut).

Now, Lyndsi and I have a very strange relationship that's hard to explain.
We met at when we volunteered for a concert at IC and bonded over being security and then she told me she was going to facebook stalk me and friend me. Then I asked to go to Apple Fest with her and the rest is strange strange history.

Last year we spent almost every day together, and talked to each other every day.
We don't just talk about our days, we talk about everything and it's weird and... man, this doesn't explain it well.
This picture is a perfect example of our friendship.

That is seriously our life.

But still, you need more examples of our deep, deep love.
Because just saying that despite the fact that we haven't seen each other since last May, and the fact that I've been in London and LA the whole time, we still talk all the time and the same, you have to see.

But oh, that's not all we do. Not at all.
We also spam facebook with our love.

And that's not even as extreme as it gets, but it is as recent as it gets.
The point of this all is, Lyndsi and I have a love that can't be described with words.

But it is a true, deep and fantastic best friend love that you may never understand, and maybe you don't want to, but I tried either way.

What this really is though, is a Valentine for on of the three loves of my life.

Happy Valentine's Day Miss Lyndsi Bosco

The King of Limbs

I don't normally blog websites, but I have just been given the best Valentine's Day present ever...

Today Radiohead announced their 8th studio album The King of Limbs
I have been waiting for this for so long and I was lucky enough to have stayed up till right when they announced it on Twitter.

And people saying Twitter is stupid.

You should buy it.

The King of Limbs

Not only is this new Radiohead, it's the 8th Radiohead album.

8 is my favorite number.

I don't know if I'll be able to sleep tonight.

The Name Conversation (Just for the Record)

I want to talk about names. 

Why?

Well, we all have them. If you don't have a name, you're really not a person now are you? I mean seriously, what am I going to call you? What's your mother going to call you? Your grandma? Your teacher? Your boss? Your significant other will just call you Honey Buns, so you don't have a problem there but I mean really, you have to have a name. Otherwise you only exist to yourself, your mother and your Honey Buns. 

But I got a little off track, because the names I want to talk about are mine.

Most people call me Mia (or Mia Hanson if we're doing last names). I even call me Mia! Go figure. I mean, Mia is me, I am Mia. 80% of the people in my life probably only think of me as Mia, sometimes even my mother only thinks of me as Mia, so you know it's really stuck in there.

But the fact of the matter is not only is that not my real name, it's not even my only nickname (cue the WHAAA?(s) and OOOOO!(s)).

Let's start with going over my official (as in government stuff and all that nonsense) names.

My birth certificate has me down as Amelia Boadeccea Lenore Fjerkenstad.

My first passport has the same thing.

Then I got a name change form and my name became Amelia Boadicea Lenor Fjerkenstad Hanson.

That's my current full name. 

Amelia, cause that's the name my parents liked.

Boadicea because my father wanted to name me after the Celtic Queen of the same name.

Lenor because it has been on my mother's side for generations (but wasn't her middle name until after it was mine).

Fjerkenstad cause that's my father's last name

And Hanson is my mother's last name.

BUT THERE'S MORE!!

All my passports, since the 2nd, plus my driver's license, list my name as Amelia B Lenor Fjer Hanson cause they can't fit my freakishly long name.

When it's necessary to use my real name, I go by Amelia B Hanson.

Despite the fact that my name is actually, legally and factually Amelia, all my life I have to remind teachers and classmates that I am Amelia during role or when I hand in papers, and I still have to remind my mother to call me Amelia when making appointments or talking to doctors.

Now the nicknames!!

Mia - my parents had two nicknames in mind when they had me. My father wanted to call me Amy. My mother wanted to call me Leah. But then there was my brother, who was unable to pronounce the name Amelia because of the tricky little L, so he decided to call me Mia, and I have forever since been known as Mia to all.

Mia Pa Pia from Nicosia - My dad likes to make up rhyming nick names for his children. My sister Angie was Angelica Pelica the Teenager from Hellica. Josiah didn't get one cause I guess nothing works well with the name Josiah. Mine lasted longer than Angie's because it's not age reliant, and cause Nicosia is a real place and, let's face it, Hellica... not real.

Hanson - When I was little I played with the girl directly across the street from us all the time, and her father decided that he would call me Hanson. He still does. I don't exactly approve, but what can I do?

Miss Mia - My sister likes to call me this one from time to time, has for awhile and still does. Plus I've heard it plenty of times from various others. 

Mimi - This is a more recent development. I don't know when exactly it started happening, but in the last few years both my best friend Julia and my brother Josiah have started calling me Mimi. And the thing is, they don't see each other or talk, but it started with both around the same time. Hmm...

Mom - Another recent trend as of my sophomore year of college, my younger friends and the people I have lived with in England and LA have decided that I am mother them the most, so I am mom. Yay...

Saint Paul - The most recent development, at my internship I am currently helping the producers of the new Lifetime show, One Born Every Minute, and the executive producer of that show just so happens to be from Minneapolis, so once that guy found out where I was from... I haven't had a name besides this.

These last two I don't feel like explaining for whatever reason, but I will say who gave them.

Pipe-breaker - The girls

English Girl - a boy

So... there you are! I guess you have options as to what you want to call me now, but before you think of it, I'd rather you don't.

I'm good with Mia, thanks!

Half a Day in the Life of Mia the Intern at Reveille (extreme boredom takes hold)

I am at my internship today, currently waiting for an email to inform us that we can start working on a very exciting binding job. So as I sit here I will write a stream of consciousness/random thoughts blog, let's see how this goes shall we?

1:33
There is a giant, and I really mean giant, bouquet of flowers on the other side of these colorful desk dividers. It's got roses, lilies and big ass leaves. It's for some girl's birthday from her family. I would melt if anyone, even family, sent me that.

1:39
The birthday girl with the flowers decided that from now on she's saying they are here because it one of our (us two interns) birthdays.

1:59
I'm still doing absolutely nothing, makes me really want to do something. If I thought to bring my 30 Rock script I'd totally be working on my beat sheet right now, but clearly I am not doing that. Shame on me. I have 4 more hours here, I'm really hoping I can do some binding soon. It's a boring task, but must be done and is less boring than the nothing I am doing right now. I just keep refreshing pages and sucking on the ice in the bottom of my glass cause it still tastes like root beer.

2:04
Maybe I should think about my spec script... I plan to write a Shakespeare themed episode of Community. I'm thinking Much Ado right now, have Jeff and Britta as Benedict and Beatrice, Troy and Annie as Claudio and Hero, probably Pierce as Leonato, Shirley as all other females, Chang as all the bad guys, the Dean Dogberry and other stupid silly characters in that plot, and Abed as the Prince. Of course I'm not going to stick straight to the plot of Much Ado or clearly make many of these people the characters, but I'm thinking they will take a Shakespeare mini course, but Jeff takes an archery mini course, and Britta says that she has so little faith in Jeff's archery skills that if he manages to shoot anything she will eat it, even though she's a vegetarian. And Troy decides to ask Annie to one of the Dean's crazy dances, or something. But they will be reading Much Ado in class, you know, to hint you in. That's all I have so far.


2:18
OkGo posted a code to get tickets for Lopez when they will be on it. I was bored so I did it, I may not be able to go, depending on the time, but why the hell not at least try right? It is OkGo.


2:22
The episode of Shit My Dad Says that we saw filmed aired last night...


2:23
There's a framed posted for Ugly Betty Near my desk and it's quite wrinkled, the poster for The Tudors, on the other hand, is quite nice.


2:39
I may have just bought a 30 Rock posted for $6 (as in I totally did).


2:45
Just explored the desk drawers, found PostIts, folders, a Sharpie, a self-storage keychain, and an ethernet cord.


2:47
My ice chips have turned to water, faintly root beer flavored cold water.
(now there's nothing in the glass)


2:52
Got myself some coffee and a Chewy bar (a Quaker Chewy bar at that!!), hopefully that'll help with something?


2:55
I just realized that I have been doing this, and nothing else, for almost an hour and a half. Holy hell... that job better start soon cause I cannot just sit here for 3 more hours.


2:58
I just did something semi-productive. I was asking a fellow intern that I work with on Mondays and who lives in the same apartment complex as me if she wanted to carpool, she said she can't because she goes straight to class in Santa Monica, but she forgot her computer charger here on Wednesday so I'm going to pick it up for her! Look at me, getting shit done!


3:11
I just realized that my pharmacy is extremely close to my work. Win!


3:17
I totally feel my coffee. It feel like... like I want to take a nap, but if I tried to lay down I would fly off the couch/bed/floor/whatever I could sleep on and bounce all around the room. Yay coffee!...?


3:29
Just read that there is going to be a Bones spinoff that has nothing to do with the show Bones, it's not starring anyone from the show, not in the same lab, not the same job, not even based on anything written by the woman who wrote the books Bones is based off... how is it a spinoff? Beats me


3:32
Also learned that our company is producing the upcoming CW zombie show Awakening. Good for us?


3:42
I'm extremely tempted to catch up on some shows on Hulu since my supervisor just told me to sit tight till we're contacted about the job we're waiting on. I mean, if I watch The Office it would be work related cause we produce it...


3:45
Currently I am eating an orange that I just remembered I put in my bag yesterday.


4:02
Been looking up new shows, some seem quite interesting, I love TV.


4:07
That wrinkled Ugly Betty poster really bothers me, none of the other 6 posters in this room are wrinkled.


4:22
Reading more about pilots that have been ordered, gotta say a lot sound quite good, I only hope one day some college intern is reading about a pilot of mine that some network ordered.


4:32
Just found out that ABC is doing a Charlie's Angels TV remake. Not sure how I feel about that.


4:39
Found another scripted pilot that my company is producing with Jack Black (and others) that's a big thumbs up for Reveille.


4:53
The sun is starting to set, I'm still doing nothing.


4:55
Got an email about the Lopez show, taping starts at 5pm so I doubt I'd make it out in time, especially since I have an event to go to for class that day.


4:58
The giant bouquet of flowers still looks good, the birthday day decided to leave it here over the weekend cause it's just too big to take home.


4:59
Speaking of next Thursday, I'm totally going to see Aaron Sorkin talk! Take that! Also I'm seeing all the other Oscar nominated writers!


5:07
I have resorted to playing internet games. I am pretty positive that I will be doing no more work today.


5:25
About half an hour left, I'm more than ready to go home, crashed from the coffee for sure, I think I'll end this here. Hope you enjoyed half a day in the life of Mia the intern at Reveille!

A Kind of, Sort of Travel Fairy Tale (for Julia)

Today I want to share something with you that I should have shared a while ago, but since you got one story earlier, why not get another. This piece was written as a submission to a writing competition at the ICLC. I didn't win, but that's okay, it didn't perfectly fit the requirements, but I liked it anyway. Really, instead of being a travel writing piece it became a sort of love letter to my friendship with a one Miss Julia Gibas. So here it is...

                                         A Kind of, Sort of Travel Fairy Tale

I would like to tell you a little fairy tale. And before you ask, yes, it has to do with travel, I’m not daft, in fact it has all sorts of travel (but most importantly the required type of travel for this piece). And sure… it’s not really a fairy tale… at all, cause you know, there’s no magic or fairies or princesses (well… okay no) or all the things you need for a fairy tale, but still, I’m going to tell you a fairy tale, so here we go.

Once upon a time, about 21 years ago, in a land relatively far away (that’s usually extremely cold but at the time of our story was actually kind of hot) there lived two pregnant ladies. Now, I’m not going to lie to you, these were not young ladies, but they were wonderful ladies, and they were friends and good friends at that. They didn’t stay knocked-up for too long though, about in August and October they popped out those babies, and of course they were each (baby in tow) at the other’s side. They had two beautiful, gorgeous, and just absolutely amazing baby girls that they named Julia Grace Gibas-Jones and Amelia Boadicea Lenor Fjerkenstad (yeah, try saying those ten times fast).

Twenty one years later, after countless sleepover, a ton of games, slightly less “adult beverages”, a handful of boys, and a sprinkling of death threats, theses two girls found them selves lying next to each other in a large bed in a rented apartment in Morocco. Their stomachs full of Moroccan Thanksgiving, and their brains fuzzy with a couple of shared cocktails, Julia turned to Amelia.

- Can you believe we’ve been doing this for 21 years? Having sleepovers.

And boy howdy if Julia wasn’t right. There hadn’t been a single year the girls (princesses perhaps, why not, it’s a fairy tale) hadn't a sleepover at least once. From sleeping in leaf piles at Quaker retreats, to lying sun-burnt next to each other in a tiny bed in El Salvador, to snuggling up inebriated in a damp cabin in Wisconsin, these girls had been together for a long time. That night in Morocco the princesses (yes, they’re princesses now, it’s a fairy tale, deal with it) talked until sleep forced them to stop.

That weekend, far from their Midwestern (but urban! Yes, the Midwest is hip, we made Prince for Christ sake) home, the princesses felt just as close as they’d been sleeping in that leaf pile years ago. I mean, sure, there were a few bumps in the weekend, like the fact that Amelia didn’t speak Arabic or remember a word from her four years of French and was abandoned by Julia for 5 hours and left to the mercy of a very aggressive and demanding 8 year old Moroccan girl (no, no one’s bitter about anything, I don’t know where on earth you got that idea). But then there were those magical moments when Julia worked her magic so wonderfully that she was able to drop the price of a necklace from 200durham to 30 (see, it defiantly is a fairy tale, there’s magic right there!). And the nights spent lying under Moroccan blankets, listening to Moroccan rain, and talking about love, the past and the future (then there were the mornings where the princesses were rudely awakened by the 8 year old screaming their names).

On their final day they stood in a hole in the wall of a shop in the Moroccan market streets, the walls covered with pictures of pop stars (sadly, neither of the princesses were included in that collage, and before you ask, you weren’t there either, self centered prick…) Amelia looked out to the crowded ally of a street and back at Julia dancing away to Shakira as a Moroccan man burned her a mix CD, both girls (princesses, ladies, women, chicas, whatever I give up) realized that while this was one of those defining, never to be forgotten sort of  moments in their friendship, it was also sort of the start. Who knows where they would find themselves meeting next. Maybe in China, or Los Angeles, Paris or Vancouver. Maybe under a bridge or in a secret garden, maybe in Narnia or through the looking glass (it’s a fairy tale, anything is possible). Really though, all that mattered, all that they knew for sure, was that no matter where they ended up, no matter what they ended up doing, the next 21 years would hold at least as many sleepovers as the first (and hopefully a lot less death threats).

The End … ?

Improvised Bedtime Stories (The Tale of Edmond the Rat)

I know I gave you a tantalizing, secret exposing post only two days ago, but it was short and I do wide myself wide awake at 12:37 in the morning wanting to share more with you, so... in honor of a friend who often reminded me of the importance of improvised, instantaneous story writing, I will now write a bedtime story for me, and for you, completely on the spot.


Once upon a time, in a land not quite as far away as you'd think, there live a rat named Edmond. Now, Edmond wasn't your average rat, oh no, he was very, very below average. When it came to hunting, Edmond couldn't tell a scrap of cheese from a lightbulb, you would constantly finding him chasing his own tail like a lowly house dog, and don't even get me started on sewer navigation... let's just say, if you found Edmond on the street it'd be both a rare miracle and a stupid mistake (because he'll most likely be miles from the pack). Yes, Edmond was the dud of all the rats and he knew it.

But that wasn't what bothered Edmond, what bothered him was that it seemed like no one else in the pack to noticed his flaws in the least. It wasn't even that the pack pretended his wasn't stupid, no one applauded him when he carried home bottle caps when they asked for apple cores as if he did the right thing, everyone simple nodded and went on with their work. And while Edmond heard everyone gossip about the mistakes and embarrassments of the rest of the pack, whenever he hid above the pipes to listen to the latest gossip his name never crossed a single rats snout. This broke little Edmond's heart because all Edmond had wanted, all his life, was just to be noticed.

Edmond knew he would never be a star fetcher or leader of the pack, he knew he'd never even be a supporting member of the pack, he knew this from the day he was born and sucked on his father's nose when he should have been at his mother's teet. But when his father didn't even bother to push him off or laugh at his newborn's stupidity, Edmond knew his life goal was simply to be a part of something.

One day, Edmond simply had enough. He had mindlessly wondered off in the wrong direction for 5 hours and came back with a large fake orchid only to find all the food eaten and a younger rat asleep in his nest. Edmond screeched as best as he could, which honestly sounded much more like a dove's coo than a rats screech but loud nonetheless, and what happened?

Nothing!

Edmond was enraged, outraged, totally completely and utterly full of rage. He pulled his favorite apple core bottle cap from his nest and stormed out of the sewer. Of course  for Edmond... stroming out of the sewer took him quite a while and many a wrong turn, but eventually he found his way out and stood in the middle of a quiet city alley.

Edmond sat there, in the alley, bottle cap in his mouth for what seemed like hours, until the faint glow of sunrise gleamed in the distance and Edmond heard a noise that sounded exactly like his screech come from above him. Edmond dropped the bottle cap, tilted his head up and screeched back. He then heard a flutter come down from above and saw a white bird approaching him.

The dove landed softly on the ground before Edmond. She cocked her head sideways and cooed again at him. Edmond beamed and cooed back. The dove nodded at him and pushed Edmond's bottle cap back towards him with her beak. Edmond picked the bottle cap back up when the dove fluttered up. Edmond felt his heart dropping when suddenly he felt two claws grasp his back and pick him up. He looked up to see the dove clutching him as they flew higher and higher into the sky, up towards the clouds.

Edmond spent the rest of his life living with the doves, collecting bottle caps and cooing his days away. So next time you hear a dove coo above you, don't forget to look up, because it might be a very content rat.

The End

(not bad for a story written in half an hour!)

The Secret to My Brilliance (So Interesting You'll Read it Thrice)

Disclaimer: there's a tiny, extremely slight, really really little (but also a bit likely) possibility that maybe, perchance this entry may have maybe stretched the truth the smallest bit... but it's not that likely

People often say to me, "Mia, where do you get all those fantastic, amazing, lovely and creative ideas?"
And I usually tell them... nothing. I just shrug and slyly smile.

But today, because I feel really extra nice (so you better feel really extra special) I plan to reveil the secret of my brillance.
(you lucky bastards you)

I received the secret of my TV creative amazingness this summer from a guy named Miles for $90. It was a bit painful, but totally worth it.
This secret... is my TV tattoo.
(seen here depicting a lovely beach scene)

I know it's hard to believe, how can a tattoo invoke TV brillance?
Maybe you're thinking it just aids me, I look at it and realize wonderful things I could see on a real version of it (the TV, if you find that sentence confusing). But honestly, that's not it at all.

Believe it or not (I'm guessing not, but that's your loss), but the TV shows me secret, never before (or after) seen episodes of current hit television shows. I've seen the most creative episodes of Community, extremely hilarious episodes of How I Met Your Mother, the bravest episodes of Bones, outlandish episodes of The Office, episodes of True Blood more tantalizing than you'll ever see, daring episodes of Dexter, horribly harmful episodes of House and perfect episodes of Parks and Recreation (and of course shameful episodes of The Simpsons).

Please don't call me crazy, I'm on no drugs, I have no delusions or visions, I just have a magical, wonderful and inspiring TV on my arm that gives me all my ideas.

Trust me, if you looked harder, you'd see it all too and you're life would change forever (at least as much as a really great episode of TV can change your life).

You never know what a TV will show you, no matter if it be made of glass, metal and plastic or skin and ink.

And that my friends, is my secret.   

Stupid Things - A List of Complaints Pt. 2

What to know some stupid things?

Well, whatever your answer is to that question, doesn't really matter cause I'm going to tell them to you anyway.

I think it's stupid that despite the fact that I am currently living in beautiful, consistant 70 to 80 degree weather I still managed to get the same shitty cold I get every year when I'm in 10 to 20 degree weather.

I think it's stupid that my headboard bangs against the wall every time I move in bed, and even more stupid that it looks nice there so I refuse to move it.

I think it's stupid (and equally funny) that I got wine all over my face because we wanted wine but don't have a corkscrew.

I think it's stupid that our DVD player refuses to work for anything that doesn't have Betty White in it (but at least it shows amusing taste).

I think it's stupid how often the sprinkles outside my window go on every night cause I'm pretty sure they jolt me out of my sleep.

I think it's stupid that I don't have an internship with CSI (though it's pretty awesome that the guy said he'd never met anyone as enthusiastic about TV as me).

I think it's stupid that Lifetime refuses to show their episodes of Friends and  HIMYM in order. WHY LIFETIME, WHY?!?!?!

I think it's stupid that I lost my RA booklet two days after getting it.

I think it's stupid that two out of three of my mugs arrived in LA broken (and weird that it was the Shakespeare ones that broke).

I think it's stupid that, yet again, I haven't won a Golden Globe, that stupid Hollywood Foreign Press really holds a grudge...

I think it's stupid that furniture stores have sales for MLK day, I'm pretty sure Dr. King's dream had nothing to do with saving money on a couch.

I think it's stupid that I can no longer watch QI anymore on TV.

I think it's stupid that every time I decide to make my mandarine chicken I stop part of the way through and change my mind.

I think it's stupid that I made my bed 20 minutes before getting into it.

But most of all...

I think it's stupid that I don't have a cupcake right now.

Celebrity Sightings and Stranger Questioning

The celebrity sightings have begun!!
Oh how exciting! (and no, that is not sarcasm)
Since I landed in LA I have been keeping an eye out for a familiar face (that's not from IC) that I can point to (if only just in my head) and go "Oh my god! It's so and so! How awesome!"
One of my fellow RAs, Taylor, shares this same feeling with me, we bonded over it.

My first two and a half days were a flop, no one famous, no one to care about, totally lame.
But today we went to a taping of the show Shit My Dad Says and I saw my first LA famous person (second famous person ever).
Now, I know what you're probably thinking, "Mia, of course you saw someone famous, you were at a sit-com taping so there are famous people right there" and it's true, there was William Shatner and Jonathan Sadowski and Nicole Sullivan and Will Sasso and Jean Smart (Tila Tequila was also on it, but she doesn't count), but you see, celebrity sightings don't count when there on the set of a TV show that you are seeing taped, because that means you knew you would see them, you planned on it all. That's not right.

I will tell you what a true celebrity sighting is.
A true celebrity sighting is when you see a man coming in to a TV taping audience later than most people and being sent to a reserved seat in the front row and you realize you recognize him and then you realize that you were watching him on Hulu just this morning and that he's Paul James who plays Calvin on the ABC Family show Greek, the only ABC Family show you watch. And then your friend Taylor turns to you and says "Holy shit, I think that's Calvin from Greek" and you go "Oh my god, yeah, I was totally thinking that" and then your friend Taylor gets a better view, as do you, and you both flip your shit cause it totally is Paul James aka Calvin from Greek and he's both you and Taylor's first celebrity sighting and you both love that show (Taylor a bit more than you, it's his favorite) and you know that your day has just been made.
THAT is a true celebrity sighting.
In case you don't know who Paul James is, this is him.

Now that I have sited my first celebrity in LA I say, let the games begin!!


ALSO!! On a totally different subject, I have a question for one of my readers.
I would like to know who one of you is.
Here is what I know about you.
I know that you live, or are currently in, New York City. I also know that the last time you read my blog you located it by searching in Google using the keywords "josiah fjerkenstad, blog" and I also believe that once before, over a month ago, you searched Google for my blog using the keywords "josiah fjerkenstad"
So please, if you would, let me know who you are, and why you search for my blog using my brother's first name and our shared middle name taken from our father's last name, I am extremely curious.

What I've Learned Today

I have arrived in the city of angels... also known at Los Angeles, or LA or Hollywood, whatever.
Currently I am sitting on my massive bed in my massive room eating Chinese food (it, sadly, is not massive, but is at least decently sized seeing as I haven't eaten in almost 11 hours).

But seriously, my room is huge. It's got a king sized bed, two bedside tables, giant double dresser, a walk in closet, a big ol'sink area and... a very small bathroom.
Smaller than my one back home, and trust me, that's saying something.
My bathroom is about as small as my room is massive, but it's no biggie, especially since the sink isn't jammed in there.

Now that I am all unpacked (though I need to fix this crooked mirror) let's talk about what I have learned about LA thus far.

I learned that I am living in the Hollywood Hills, go figure.
I learned that my apartment is definitely not near the airport.
I learned that the Oakwood apartments have a building for every letter of the alphabet, and that they have free brunch every Sunday!!!!!!!
I learned that I should not send coffee mugs through the mail to LA, even if they are wrapped in bubble wrap and clothes, cause two of three broke (thankfully my oldest and my favorite one didn't break, what I took from this is that you can break Shakespeare (mugs) but not Radiohead (mugs))
I learned that it's really weird to see grass, green trees and flowers in early January.
I learned that I still have shitty luck with flights (as my flight to Denver was delayed meaning I would miss my LA flight, but I worked it out).
I learned that riding down hill in golf carts freaks me the fuck out.
I learned that my room provides me with far too much storage space (6 dresser drawers, 8 sink drawers and a double-doored cabinate, a linin closet with 8 shelves, two bedside tables with one drawer each and a large walk-in closet).
I learned that I haven't learned much at all about LA yet.

And lastly I learned, thank to a little cookie, that I will be the guest of a gracious host. 04 15 26 39 42, 5

Minnesota Life (It's Cold)

Here are some things that I think are important about life in Minnesota for me.

Minnesota is cold, very cold, and it doesn't help to have a heater that doesn't work in my bedroom (but since I'm only here for a week I'm too lazy to fix that problem).

I have discovered that some of my friends are such hipsters that they are deep conversations about how hard it is to be a hipster. I still love them despite this.

It's not very easy to find LA appropriate clothing in Minnesota in January, even if I look in the world's 2nd biggest mall.

The problem with cold rooms is everything in them is cold, so even if you warm up part of your bed and blankets, once you move you discover more cold bedding and the whole thing is ruined.

Hail, as scary or annoying as it can be, actually make the ground much more grippy than ice or even some snow.

Dust is annoying to come home to.

Even my breath is cold. That is how cold my room is.

Big soft, beds totally beat hard beds filled with noisy stupid springs.

The Current plays mean jokes, the first time I turned it on while driving here Mary Lucia played Avril.

U Liquors needs to clean up the old barf/soggy popcorn from their parking lot.

Rosedale Journeys needs to restock their Nike Dunks, for reals.

Prince is no where to be found.
(not that he was before, but that's no where near the point)

Waiters at Thai places are mean, bartenders at Mexican-Chinese fusion places are awesome, waiters at Ruby Tuesdays are just right.

But seriously, I'm really cold.